Part Thirty-Five
Amroth wondered, as he stepped forward into the glade, if he was making a grave
mistake. How easy it would be to refuse Elrond's bidding and return to Lórien to begin a
life with Orophin. Surely Galadriel would give him a home there. If she would not, they
could ride out, could explore Middle-earth. He could see how much it had changed in the
years which he had been the prisoner of the sea.
He wanted so badly to turn away, especially when he saw the tears on Arwen's cheeks and
those that threatened to spill from Orophin's eyes as well. He had known that he should
not have touched Oro, should not have let Oro love him. He had known he would wind up
breaking the young Galadhrim's heart. He just had not known how soon that would
happen. Still, knowing that Orophin did indeed love him gave him strength. If he avoided
this, they had no chance at all.
He steeled himself as he moved into the glen. Instinctively he knew that whether anyone
requested it of him or not, he must do this. If he ran away, he would simply fade. He
would be avoiding his purpose. This was something he had tried to explain to Orophin,
but Oro either could not or did not want to understand it. He was too young to
understand truly great and powerful magic, even though he lived beneath its protection in
the form of Lady Galadriel.
Amroth felt nothing but the pounding of his own heart in his chest as he moved into the
small clearing. Nothing had changed. He saw no vision, nor did he fall to the ground
senseless. His heart soared. Had he passed the test? Was it merely a Leap of Faith? Was he
free now to return to Orophin, to tell Oro that he loved him in return? He had not said the
words, wanting to protect the younger elf.
He waited a few seconds, then turned around to face the others. They were gone.
Vanished. He was alone in the wood. So something had happened after all. He just did not
yet know what. Amroth stood staring with longing at the spot where Orophin had been
standing. He wondered what they had seen. Had he vanished to them as well, or was his
body lying on the forest floor as Elrond's had been? Would they leave him there? For how
long? What would happen if he tried to step out of the glade?
"Amroth…"
A chill went through him as he heard the whisper of his name. He knew her voice. It was
engraved on his heart. Once it had filled him with a vibrant desire and an all-consuming
love. Now it seemed a sentinel of his doom. He turned slowly in a circle but he did not see
her.
"Nimrodel? Where are you?" He tried to sound calm and brave, but his voice emerged in a
whisper.
"Amroth…"
"I am here!" he cried. "What would you have of me?"
"You have betrayed me."
The voice of Nimrodel echoed through the glen. Amroth lifted his chin. His heart pounded
fiercely. "Never," he said. "I never betrayed you. I only loved you. I gave up my life rather
than live without you!"
"You have given your heart to another. You are almost as bad as Elrond," came the
chastising voice. He could hear a pout in it. "I am the one who gave up my life. Even
before the orcs took me I gave it up to be with you. I did not wish to go to the west. All I
sought was peace."
"I tried to give it to you," Amroth said evenly. "I did all I could. I did it for love."
"Just as Elrond did what he did for love," she said bitterly.
"Do you hold me responsible for his actions as well as my own?"
"You no longer love me. Your heart belongs to Orophin of the Galadhrim now."
Amroth nodded slowly. "Yes. Our time has passed and faded."
"And so should we have faded -- yet we remain, ever in torment."
"Orophin has freed me from my torment."
"He cannot do the same for me, Amroth."
"Can I? I will. I would set you free."
"I am bound to this glade, ever a spirit who may not wander."
"May… may I see you?" Amroth asked, not sure why he did except that it was
disconcerting to speak with a disembodied voice. "Elrond said he saw you."
"Not me, just a vision of what I once was."
And then she was there. Nimrodel, just as he remembered her, unspeakably beautiful in her
white robes, her long golden hair flowing over her shoulders and back nearly to her ankles.
Her small, pointed face was fair and pale and perfect. Her limbs were long and nearly as
white as her robes. He wished he had not asked to see her again. He did not feel love, not
like what he felt for Orophin, but he felt the echo of the passion that they had once shared.
Amroth reached for her. How could he not? He had to see if she was as flesh, or if she
was a vision that could not be touched. She stepped back, raising a hand to stop him.
"You must not touch me, Amroth."
"Why?" he asked, but she simply shook her head. He complied to her request. What else
could he do? "What would you have of me, Nimrodel?"
"What makes you think I would have anything of you, Amroth?"
"Did you not call me back from the grave?"
"You were never in a grave, no more than ever I was. Our spirits were freed of our bodies
in a moment of longing. I saw your dive into the sea as the orcs tormented me. I saw it as
if I had been beside you on the deck of the ship."
"Then you know how much I loved you."
"Yes. That love kept my spirit alive. You gave me the strength to break free. Oh, but now,
now Amroth, you love another. Now you rob me of my strength."
"Forgive me… but his love is what gives me strength now. Can you not find another to
take my place? What of Elrond, who always loved you, who loves you still?"
"Elrond's love is selfish. He wanted me as a prize."
"I do not believe that of him."
"Believe what you like, Amroth. It does not make it more or less true."
Amroth shook his head slowly. "Are you asking me to give up my love for Orophin? Will
that serve you any? Will it give you life once more?"
"How could it? Your body survived to take you back into it. Mine did not."
"I have no answers for you, Nimrodel," he said with some exasperation. "I know not what
you want."
"I want my freedom! I want not to be bound to this glade as only a spirit, a voice, a vision.
I want to be real once more."
"And what will you do if that is granted you? Hide in this glade? In Fangorn Forest? Sail
to Valinor?"
"I want to be alive," she said piteously. "You took my life. Give me yours."
"How?" he whispered, though her demand filled him with dread.
Nimrodel shook her head, and her long golden locks shimmered in the sunlight. The
breeze lifted the tendrils around her face. She reached out her hand for his. Slowly Amroth
extended his own hand. His fingers trembled and he fought the instinct to be afraid. He
was not afraid of dying, for death was an old friend. He was simply filled with blinding
disappointment that he had survived so long beneath the Bay of Belfalas only to leave the
world again so quickly.
Her fingers passed through his.
Amroth could not touch Nimrodel. He tried again, but he could not grasp her outstretched
hand. She was a vision, but he was flesh. She cried out in disappointment and flung herself
at him. Her whole body passed through his with a cold wind. Amroth whirled around only
to see her standing on the other side of him. She turned and rushed through him again,
then dropped to her knees, weeping in the grass.
"It is unjust," she wailed. "Unjust!"
"Nimrodel!"
They both looked up. The voice of Lord Elrond echoed through the clearing. A moment
later he appeared beside Amroth. He brushed the lost king aside and dropped to his knees
next to Nimrodel. He put his arms around her and kissed her cheek tenderly.
"Elrond," she whispered.
"Do not cry, my darling," Elrond said softly. He stroked her hair tenderly.
"How can this be?" Amroth whispered.
"I heard her voice," Elrond said, meeting Amroth's eye with a somewhat accusatory
expression. "I came into the clearing."
"Are our bodies lying side by side on the ground, then?" Amroth asked.
"You disappeared completely when you stepped into the circle. As for me… I know not. I
would imagine either I lie there now and my time in this vision is short, or that I, too, have
disappeared."
"Orophin--"
"His brothers held him back from following you. He will be all right. But why do you
upset this maiden?"
Nimrodel still sobbed in Elrond's arms. Amroth stepped forward. He reached out to put
his hand on Nimrodel's shoulder, but it went through. Elrond watched, then raised an
eyebrow.
"I cannot touch her."
"And yet I can…" Elrond marveled.
Amroth nodded. "She asked for my life."
Nimrodel looked up into Elrond's eyes. He frowned at her. "I want to live again, Elrond.
Do I live, we can be together -- just as you always wanted. Give me the life of Amroth,
who betrayed me. Only you truly loved me."
Elrond let go of her slowly. He stood up and moved to Amroth's side, his expression
fathomless. "The Nimrodel I knew would never have asked such a thing. Who are you?"
Nimrodel rose to her feet as well. Her expression changed from pitiable to one of anger.
An aura of danger surrounded her. Amroth was reminded of Galadriel. He faced her
without fear.
"How can I give you my life? How can Elrond give it to you?"
"Why can I touch you and Amroth can not?" Elrond murmured.
"Your desire is greater. You love me, Elrond. He does not. Why should he live and have
the love of his Galadhrim while we are denied?" Nimrodel moved around them in a slow
circle, then a faster one, moving more and more quickly, her words repeating over and
over.
A great wind rose up around them. Amroth felt his hair blowing it, saw Elrond's lifted
around his head in a great cloud. Elrond clapped a hand to his shoulder, holding on to
them as the supernatural gale rose, and the trees groaned and shook with the force of it.
They could no longer see Nimrodel. She was but a force of energy, a storm which they
were trapped together inside.
"Give him to me, Elrond. Give him! Give him to me and I will be yours…"
Amroth felt a slight spiral of fear. Would Lord Elrond give Amroth's life to be with the
maiden he loved?
"No!" Elrond shouted. "You ask for too much. Amroth's life is not mine to give, nor
would I will him to sacrifice himself."
"I cannot be flesh again unless his blood is spilled!" roared the voice of Nimrodel from
inside the storm.
"I refuse!"
"Why do you not do as she asks?" Amroth cried. "Why do you give up your chance to
have what you desire?"
"You do not wish to die, Amroth! You wish to live!" Elrond shouted, his voice nearly
drowned out by the increasing noise of the storm.
The voice of Nimrodel became one long, unending scream. The sound was painful. Elrond
stumbled and Amroth threw his arms around the Lord of Imladris to hold him up. Using
all his strength he pulled Elrond towards the edge of the clearing. They had to get out of
here, to leave this vision.
Amroth threw the entire weight of his body at Elrond, sending them both sprawling out of
the storm. They landed at the feet of Arwen, who at once began to sob in relief. Amroth
looked up and saw Orophin standing over them as well. He smiled, feeling all his strength
leaving him.
"I love you, Orophin," he managed to say.
Amroth closed his eyes and fell into blackness.
