Part Twenty-Seven
Haldir rode out ahead of the small group as they departed the Lórien borders, ordering
Orophin to keep the rear guard. He was used to his brothers obeying his commands during
their patrols and he assumed they would follow orders now without undermining his
authority. He had decided this morning that he better take the lead in this quest right
away. Not only would it keep his mind off Legolas by allowing him to ride far ahead as
scout, but he was not sure he trusted any of the others to do it.
It was, of course, ridiculous. Any one of them could have led the party, even Arwen, but
aside from Amroth and Elrond, he was not sure if any of the rest of them were taking this
expedition seriously. He should have deferred to one of the higher ranking kings, he
supposed, but he was afraid that the pair of them were already too distracted by their love
for Nimrodel. That was all love was anyway -- a distraction.
He outranked his brothers, Erestor and Arwen would not challenge him, and Legolas
seemed to be pretending he did not exist, so that left only Thranduil as possible
competition. Haldir rode in front of the group, with Amroth and Elrond behind him.
Arwen and Rúmil followed them. Haldir would have sent Rúmil to the back with Orophin,
but Arwen had already loudly proclaimed that Galadriel wanted him to be her personal
guard. Haldir was not about to argue.
Thranduil and Legolas were next, and Erestor rode behind them, looking sour that he was
not next to Elrond. Haldir supposed he did not dare take a place in front of Arwen.
Orophin looked just as miserable as the rear guard, probably because he would have
preferred to ride next to Amroth, but that was too bad, Haldir thought. This would be a
safer arrangement. Hopefully they would all be on their guard for orcs rather than
engrossed in conversation with the elf whom they were riding beside.
It would be five hours ride to the stream, and there they would spend the night. They
could begin looking for clues or whatever Elrond and Amroth meant to do, in the
morning. The dark hours would be too difficult. At least there was a small wood near the
stream which would offer some protection. Most of the afternoon and evening's journey
would be in high orc country.
What would happen if they were wiped out by an orc hoard? Haldir wondered. Two of the
three Elven kings of Arda were here, along with their heirs. Elvendom would be left to
Galadriel and Celeborn, along with Elrond's sons Elladan and Elrohir, he supposed. Best
not to think of it. They would be fine. They were all skilled with bow and blade and could
take down an entire regiment of orcs if necessary. No one with any sense at all would trifle
with them.
As Haldir had expected he might at some point, Thranduil eventually rode up beside him.
Haldir sighed inwardly. He did not want to argue with the King of Mirkwood. If Thranduil
demanded to lead the party, it would be near impossible convincing him that Haldir was
the better choice. After all, he knew where they were going and had been there many
times. Thranduil's route from Mirkwood would not have even taken him past the stream.
Haldir looked at Thranduil expectantly, trying to keep his expression politely blank. They
were far enough ahead of Elrond and Amroth that whatever was said between them might
not be overheard by the rest, so Haldir was prepared to be belligerent if necessary. Still he
waited for Thranduil to speak first. The King of Mirkwood was not known for holding
back what was on his mind.
"You are a good choice to lead this group," Thranduil said, surprising Haldir with the
compliment. "I confess I know not where we are going. Seldom do I leave Mirkwood but
for the rare journey to Imladris or Lórien."
"Thank you," Haldir said. He waited for Thranduil to get to the point. He was not one for
idle conversation.
"I wish to discuss with you what happened yesterday."
It was difficult to maintain his calm, but Haldir fought to do so. He had no idea how much
Thranduil had found out, aside from what Rúmil had told him.
"Very well," he said, waiting for Thranduil to continue.
"I hope you carry no grudge for the damage to your brother. I was aiming for Celeborn."
"Rúmil will recover," Haldir said. "He told me it was an accident."
"Celeborn and I have been friends since the beginning of time, and will be so until the end
of the world," Thranduil commented. "I daresay there are few who know him as well as I
do."
"Do you blacken the eyes of all your friends?" Haldir asked, but then he wished he had
not. He was out of line. He waited for Thranduil to grow angry, but the king only
chuckled.
"You have nerves of steel, Haldir of Lórien, and a wit to match. Speak freely with me now
if you like, but in the presence of others, you had better remember respect."
"Forgive me," Haldir said but he heard an edgy note in his own voice.
"Very well. In answer to your question, Celeborn was out of line, but the scuffle was a
friendly one. I have left more marks upon him in passion."
Haldir nodded, unsure of how to respond. He felt a flash of anger on behalf of Galadriel, a
sadness at this confession that her husband held no loyalty towards her, even if this was
not news to him. Even Rúmil had been tempted to lie with the lord. At least Orophin had
enough sense not to desire him. He glanced backward at his brother. Rúmil and Arwen
were exchanging scathing glances but not speaking to each other. That was probably for
the best.
"I am no rival to Galadriel, Haldir," Thranduil said quietly. Haldir looked at him in alarm.
"Yes, I know what you are thinking. I admire your loyalty to the Lady of Light. Yet
Celeborn and I share a bond that can only pass between two male elves. You understand
this, do you not? This is what you feel for Legolas."
Haldir's head jerked sharply towards Thranduil. "Legolas--"
"Do not speak just yet," Thranduil said, interrupting him. "I am not blind to what passed
between the two of you the summer that you were in Mirkwood. I know also why you
treated Legolas as coldly as you did at the end. Yes, I wished to slay you and carve out
your heart when I was forced to watch him languish in sadness for many moons after you
left, but I thought it was for the best, as you did. I hated that I might not console him. I
did not speak to him of my knowledge of what had happened. He was too young to
believe that I might actually understand it. He may still be. But you, you are not."
He stopped talking for a moment and they rode in silence. Haldir was not sure if he should
speak yet. He had wondered if Thranduil was aware of his entanglement with Legolas but
Legolas had insisted that his father knew nothing. Finally Thranduil spoke once more.
"I want my son to be happy. Is this not the desire of all fathers? You are what makes him
happy, Haldir, and so I give you my blessing in this. I do not believe you are trifling with
his affections. It is not your nature, even if it is that of your brother Rúmil."
"Rúmil is young yet," Haldir replied icily. He wanted to be overjoyed at Thranduil's words,
but the bitter irony of the entire situation simply cut into him deeper.
"I daresay Arwen will teach him a lesson," Thranduil said, chuckling. "I am surprised that
you have not offered for Elrond's daughter yourself."
"The thought has crossed my mind of late," Haldir admitted.
"She will make a fine bride to some elf," Thranduil commented. "I would have her for
Legolas if they did not seem to despise each other so greatly. Perhaps that will pass, in
time."
"I do not understand how you can give blessing to a bond between Legolas and myself,
then encourage one or both of us to ask for Arwen," Haldir said with exasperation. "What
of her feelings?"
"The bond to a wife is not the same as that between two males," Thranduil said, but Haldir
could not quite believe that. "I fully expect Legolas to marry one day, but that does not
mean you will no longer be part of his life. I tell you this that you will go and tear down
the wall between you. I want to see him laughing and smiling again. It was part of why I
brought him with me to Lórien."
"Thranduil, Legolas does not want me," Haldir said bitterly. "I offended him too deeply
yesterday. He would not take my apology at the banquet."
"He wants you," Thranduil replied confidently. "Turn around and look at him. I bet he is
glaring daggers at us now, and wondering of what we speak."
Haldir could not resist turning to look. The other riders were a good bit behind them, but
Legolas was indeed staring in their direction. Thranduil chuckled again as Haldir turned
around, which made him quickly face forward again.
"I made unfair accusations of him yesterday," he said. "He has taken them to heart, despite
that I have asked him for forgiveness."
"Unfair accusations?"
"I prefer not to speak of them," Haldir sighed.
"I suppose it has to do with him kissing Rúmil and the herb they shared. No matter. They
are both well, and so would I advise each one of you to put it in the past. I would speak to
Legolas on your behalf, but I know not if he might be offended to hear these things which
I may speak so easily to you. You are a bit older than him, and you have come into
responsibility as such that Galadriel would make you Marchwarden. This is no small
honor."
"I am aware of the honor Galadriel bestows upon me and I work hard to be worthy of it.
You put me to shame, my lord," Haldir said. "But I cannot beg forgiveness from Legolas
any more."
Thranduil reached out and put his hand on Haldir's arm. Haldir turned his head and found
himself looking into the face that was so similar to the one he held so dearly. Thranduil's
dark blue eyes were filled with concern but his bow shaped mouth was set into a firm line.
"You will not let Legolas suffer. If you do, I will take you to task for it. You do not wish
to have me for an enemy, Haldir."
"No," Haldir agreed slowly, "I do not. Still, I cannot help but feel that Legolas would be
angry if he knew that you were trying to force me to him."
Thranduil took his hand back but his expression grew all the more irritated. "You are
correct, but do not think that if Legolas continues to suffer, this journey will be pleasant
for you." He paused, staring at Haldir for a brief moment. "I almost wish he did not love
you so deeply, for I find I would like to have you for myself."
Thranduil smiled faintly and Haldir had to grip the mane of his horse to keep from falling
off. Thranduil desired him? Oh, that would be more trouble than a dozen giant spiders,
and almost as deadly.
"I am flattered," Haldir said, not daring to say more.
"As you should be," Thranduil said, lifting an eyebrow. "Now, take my words to heart. I
believe you love Legolas well enough to do so, even if it means crawling before him."
Without waiting for a reply, Thranduil turned his horse and galloped back to where his son
rode, leaving Haldir alone with his thoughts. There was absolutely no way he was going to
beg Legolas for anything. He would just have to take his chances with Thranduil. It was a
shame, because he wanted Legolas even more desperately than he ever had. And to have
Thranduil's blessing? That was near difficult to believe.
He brooded on the King of Mirkwood's words for the rest of the afternoon. It was hard to
keep his eyes and ears focused on the task of scouting for orcs, but thankfully they
encountered none, even as twilight fell and it was most dangerous. As predicted they
approached the stream of Nimrodel in the late evening, and they dismounted their steeds
by the water's edge, leaving the horses free to wander until morning.
Elrond and Amroth went at once to the steam, exploring the small area while Haldir
organized the set-up of their camp. Thranduil joined them, looking amused by their
urgency. Haldir set Rúmil and Orophin to gather the firewood, but Arwen insisted that she
needed Rúmil to help her with her pack. Erestor also seemed to have taken an interest in
ordering Rúmil around, as if he belonged to the elves of Imladris, but Haldir left that to
him to sort out. Legolas volunteered to help with the firewood and disappeared with
Orophin. Haldir felt no jealousy. He knew Oro's heart was tied to Amroth.
Soon they had a fire going and Haldir began to search in his pack for a cake of lembas. He
was starving. Thranduil, Elrond and Amroth came back from their exploration and the
King of Mirkwood stayed his hand as he began to unwrap the bread.
"No need for that yet, Marchwarden," he said. "I am an excellent cook, and look, Legolas
has caught us some conies in the wild."
Haldir had been so busy trying not to look at Legolas that he had not realized that the
prince and Orophin were busily skinning a handful of rabbits.
"Orophin found them," Legolas said modestly, looking over at them.
"Aye, but you shot them. In the dark, as well," said Orophin.
Haldir stared at Legolas. The firelight gave his golden hair an amber glow. It glinted in his
blue eyes and highlighted the paleness of his ethereal skin. Haldir swallowed back the rise
of desire in his throat. He thought he heard Thranduil chuckle again as he began preparing
the meat in a small cooking pot.
"Elrond may know his healing herbs, but I know my cooking herbs," Thranduil said. In a
few moments a delicious smell filled the clearing. "Legolas, fetch the wine from my pack."
Legolas got up to do as he was told, stretching his lithe body. Haldir could not take his
eyes off him. Legolas opened several bottles, passing cups first to Elrond and Amroth,
then to Erestor and Arwen, to Rúmil and Orophin. Haldir wondered vaguely how many
bottles of wine Thranduil had burdened his poor horse with. The King of Mirkwood was
known for his love of the vine. In his house, they ordered it by the barrel. Thranduil took a
bottle from Legolas and liberally sauced the rabbit with it.
Finally Legolas poured a cup for himself and one more. Haldir had begun to think that
Legolas was not going to give him any wine, but he had not forgotten his manners. He
passed it silently to Haldir, then began to turn away. Haldir grabbed his wrist.
"Sit and drink with me, Legolas," he said in a low voice.
"I would rather not," Legolas said stiffly. He snatched back his arm and stalked away to sit
next to Rúmil, looking at Haldir rather defiantly.
Haldir sighed inwardly. He had made an effort. Again he had been rejected. He should let
this pass. Yet as he glanced at Thranduil, he saw that none of this had escaped the king's
attention.
"If my son will not keep you company, I will," Thranduil said, his voice slightly raised, and
he turned to bring Haldir the first plate of food.
Thranduil sat down next to Haldir so close that their thighs were touching. Haldir wished
Thranduil did not look so much like his son, because this sent an unbidden thrill of arousal
through him. Thranduil smiled at him conspiratorially. Haldir ate in silence. The food was
delicious, and Thranduil basked in the compliments that everyone else rained on him.
Haldir watched Legolas with longing as he made conversation with Rúmil and even with
Arwen. He did not look over at Haldir.
"Rúmil, can you go get my brush for me?" Arwen asked in a honeyed tone. "I left it in my
pack at the edge of the clearing.
"I am eating," Rúmil said, clearly having had enough of being ordered around by her. "Can
it not wait?"
"No, it cannot. My hair is tangled from riding all day, and so is yours. I will fix your braids
if you fetch it for me."
Rúmil sighed. "Very well."
Haldir watched his brother get up and leave the clearing. Arwen and Legolas fell silent.
Without Rúmil there as a buffer they clearly had nothing to say to one another. Legolas
finally turned his head to stare back at Haldir, but his eyes still seemed cold and distant.
Haldir licked his lips. At that moment he felt Thranduil's hand slide over his thigh. His eyes
widened, and he saw Legolas' do the same. Before he could protest, Rúmil came running
back.
"Orcs!" he shouted breathlessly. "We are about to be attacked!"
